Netcompany is coming on board as the new naming-rights sponsor for ChemicalCompany DerivativeCarCompany. How did we end up here?
Composite image: Cor Vos (the cyclists) and Netcompany (the Netcompany)
SCENE: A glossy office block in downtown Copenhagen, overlooking the harbour and Knippelsbro ferry terminal, not far from the gritty, herbal wafts of Christiania. It is the headquarters of the tech firm Netcompany, and the bicycle cycling team Ineos Grenadiers has sent a consultant – a man called CHAD – to do the due diligence in securing Netcompany as title sponsor. CHAD sits in the foyer waiting on an insane bendy purple sofa, dressed in a pair of jeans and a wrinkled business shirt with the top two buttons undone to reveal a shark-tooth necklace.
JANNE, a severe-looking Danish woman who looks like a stereotype of a Danish architect, all the way down to the turtleneck, strides powerfully across the foyer and greets him with an unsmiling handshake.
JANNE: Welcome to Copenhagen, Chad. Good flight over?
CHAD: Not bad, Jan. Couple of vinos and valiums on the leg from Bangkok, slept like a baby.
JANNE: That is good to hear. Shall we …?
CHAD rises, slinging his Billabong bag onto his shoulder, and they walk together to a meeting room on an upper floor. JANNE offers CHAD a cup of filter coffee, and he shakes his head, reaching into his backpack for a warm can of Monster he’s brought with him. JANNE raises her eyebrows slightly as he cracks it open, then briskly connects to the projector, and a PowerPoint slideshow lights up the wall. It features a picture of the Ineos Grenadiers cycling team, sitting on an Ineos Grenadier car.
CHAD: [gestures at the dumb, derivative four-wheel-drive] Sick wheels, eh? OK, so Big Dave and Big Jim wanted to loop me in on this and check that everything is shipshape before we proceed any further.
JANNE: Of course. All of us here at Netcompany are excited about this synergy. As you have seen, Denmark is a land of cyclists, and we have been looking to expand our brand awareness across the continent.
CHAD: Well, look Jan, I think you’d be hard pressed to find a better opportunity than this. These boys have wins out the wazoo and a bit of extra moolah will keep ‘em firing for years to come.
JANNE: It’s pronounced ‘Yann-eh’.
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