3 minute read
“In terms of skulls… how many skulls? Do you think?”
There are plenty of England fans and a good few in the cricket press who have a Tom Wambsgans-esque appetite for skulls right now.
England lost the Ashes and no-one has been sacked. It’s an unusual scenario.
The boring story without skulls
The more strategic layers of power at the ECB have tried to explain their reasoning this week. Chief executive Richard Gould said that Rob Key, Brendon McCullum and Ben Stokes would all carry on but would do things slightly differently.
“We have seen that there are ways that we can do things in a different way and ensure that we’ve got more options,” he told Cricinfo. “We don’t want to be painted into a corner by being perceived that we can only do things in one particular way… There is the belief that we can adapt, and I think we’ve seen good evidence of that and we will continue to drive that forward.”
Visceral stuff, isn’t it? Who couldn’t get enthused about corporate strategy, reading abstract assertions like that?
Key then came out to say that they’re going to change a few of the things that everyone has been telling them they need to change.
The problem is that if you’re upset about something – as England fans are with the last Ashes – then reading that England broadly agree with some criticism and are going to make changes doesn’t really hit the spot the way the more traditional therapeutic phlebotomy does.
It also makes for quite boring articles and videos. Other than entertaining yourself with Status Quo references, it’s hard to get much out of grand announcements that nobody’s being dismissed. (Shockin’ All Over The World, In the Barmy Army Now, etc.)
Rip it up and start again hasn’t worked previously, but it’s undeniably clearer action than whatever this is. To hell with your learnings and evolution as leaders. Bring us some skulls!
The Frittening
So no skulls and nothing much to chew on. What we’re therefore left with is The Boneless – a large, constantly shifting blob of pale organic matter that induces a state of madness in all who gaze upon it. (Make your Rob Key jokes… NOW!)
If, like us, your are feeling a bit untethered from the game right now, the problem, perhaps, is not what is and isn’t being done in response to a crap Ashes, but that there’s not yet anything better to talk about.
What we could do really with at this point is some cricket. You know, cricketers playing cricket against other cricketers – that thing.
The County Championship starts next week.
