The Clever Caddy – Golf Poetry

THE CLEVER CADDY 
I USED to think my caddy 
A little Philistine; 
That vegetable ivory 
Composed his childish bean; 
That he was most benighted 
And foolish in the nut, 
A blithering boob and other things, 
I used to think it — but 




My caddy's erudition, 
His sapience and wit, 
Are simply flabbergasting — 
I can't get over it! 
That pungent perspicacity! 
That comprehension keen! 
Acumen and sagacity — 
(If you know what I mean). 
Why, say, he has a massive brain, 
A cerebrum immense, 
A convoluted coco, 
An onion full of sense. 
A thinker stuffed with wisdom, 
An attic crammed with tricks, 
A fine cephalic gathering 
Of ologies and ics. 
I used to think my caddy 
A gem of purest bone, 
But then I was mistaken; 
My fault I freely own. 
I know now he's a genius 
Of rare and lambent flame, 
For I have overheard him say 
I play a clever game. 




J. P. McEvoy in Lyrics of the Links, published in 1921

J.P. (Joseph Patrick) McEvoy was a popular American writer of the 1920s and 1930s. His stories were published in magazines such as The Saturday Evening Post and Cosmopolitan. Many of his stories were adapted into movies. Later, he became the writer for a popular newspaper comic strip called Dixie Duggan.