AI. It stands for “Artificial Intelligence,” and everybody’s talking about it. AI is poised to completely alter the way we think, live, breathe, knit baby booties, teach ourselves to juggle, and subtly manipulate our loved ones by microdosing them with guilt. It’s also coming to pro cycling to tell the riders what to do:
Okay, AI is one thing, but I was fascinated to learn that Richard Plugge, manager of Team Visma-Lease a Bike, singlehandedly (singlefistedly?) introduced pro cycling to the fist bump:
“You know, I’m used to getting laughed at by people. I always laugh last,” says Richard Plugge, general manager of Team Visma-Lease a Bike.
“I’ve seen it many times that a few years later, or even a few months later, people are adapting the same things we do. I’ll give you one example: we don’t shake hands anymore in the Tour de France. We fist bump. When we started that, people were saying: ‘Haha, they’re crazy. But now everyone is doing it.
Though evidence shows fist-bumping in the Tour de France at least as far back as 2013:
Were you manager of BMC in 2013? Were you? Explain that one, Plugge!
Next you’ll claim you invented the Glasses Wipe:
Or the Package Presentation:
Or the Phone Call-Nipple Twiddle:
But that was all Cav, baby. All Cav.
Though now that I think about it, maybe teams should use AI to devise creative new victory salutes. Let’s give it a shot, shall we?
Oy. The prompt was “A pro cyclist winning a bicycle race and doing a creative and entertaining victory salute,” but there’s nothing particularly creative or entertaining about that one. By the way, it looks like AI-generated pro cyclist Marty Geka is wearing a Livestrong bracelet on his left wrist; either that or he was out parting the night before à la Jaques Anquetil and forgot to cut off the little bracelet that tells the bartender he’s old enough to drink.
As for team managers using AI for other stuff besides victory salutes, I’m not laughing, because it’s probably a very good idea. In fact I happened to be reading this story recently, which shows the pitfalls of relying on a human to figure stuff out:
Wow. How does the USA lose at baseball to Italy? That’s like Italy losing to the USA in eating really good cuisine and not working that hard.
And yes, I realize the Italian baseball team is basically a bunch of Americans with Italian last names, but don’t overthink it.
As for cycling, they’ll use AI to determine race tactics, which means directeur sportifs will soon be able to sit back in self-driving team cars and let the computers do all the work. This is especially bad news for the French, because an AI tactician could potentially spell the end for doomed Bastille Day solo breakwaways:
Examples include establishing whether to join a certain breakaway break, when to attempt to form echelons and split the peloton in crosswinds, or optimising the perfect timing for an attack.
“You could attack 80km before the finish line, be on the screen and ahead of the game for the next 10km, and even if you don’t win, everybody will say: ‘Oh, you did a great race.’ But was it really worth it?
Then again, maybe the AI is programmed to factor in sponsor exposure, and it will run a cost-benefit analysis of some guy you never heard of riding off the front for three hours, getting caught, and being spit out the back like yesterday’s Croque Monsieur.
Of course, amateur racers always copy the pros, so I’m tempted to say that soon they’ll all be riding with AI earpieces. However, I’m not sure the technology will carry over in this case, since 95% of Cat 4 races end in a bunch sprint where half the field proceeds to crash. Therefore, any AI worth the subscriber fee is just going to tell you it’s not worth it before you can even get your bib short straps over your shoulder, and what amateur racer is going to pay good money to spoil the delusion?
Though apparently they’re already using it to train:
It sounds quite useful, too:
AI training apps, powered by large language models (LLMs) or machine learning algorithms, process data from your wearable devices – heart rate, sleep, power output, HRV – to generate personalised training plans. The theory is that these models, trained on vast datasets, can spot patterns and adjust your workouts accordingly. So, if your sleep is poor and your heart rate variability drops, the AI might downgrade your session to something easier.
So it can tell you you’re tired. Amazing.
It’s also available to tell you that you suck 24 hours a day:
Apps like Vekta hope to offer something coaches can’t: 24/7 availability. The platform will soon go a step further, introducing ‘Vekta Agent’ – an AI assistant to whom athletes can ask questions about their own data, such as those surrounding sleep quality or carbohydrate intake. The vision is a round-the-clock partnership, the human coach and the AI assistant working in tandem.
If your sleep quality is poor here’s a tip: stop calling your coach in the middle of the night with questions about your carbohydrate intake.
Still, your friendly neighborhood coach would like to remind you that you should continue paying a human anyway:
“Recreational cyclists risk becoming too reliant on AI, potentially ignoring their body’s feelings,” he says. “Over-dependence on tech can overshadow internal cues, intuitive training, and body awareness. While AI offers valuable guidance, a balance is crucial.”
Yep, actual coaches are about to become the rim brake of training:
[But can AI scream at you to ride faster?]
So much for that.