But we’re the fun-hausen in just accepting that-hausen? The learned blowhards of Cageside Seats dot com have some alternate ideas…
What’s in the Mystery Crate?!?!
Geno Mrosko: This is clearly the most highly anticipated segment on the show, and it’s going to bring the house down when they crack that crate open to reveal a smaller, even more mysterious crate that reads: “Do not open until 04/19/2026.” Pick: Box part deux
Sean Rueter: I’m thinking the only reason WWE’s Mystery Crate doesn’t already have a sponsor is because this is a product integration designed to reveal said sponsor! I’d even bet a decent chunk of change that some very popular influencer my old ass has never heard of shows up to announce the launch of WWE Funko Mystery Crates®, too. Pick: Some very popular influencer my old ass has never heard of, announcing WWE Funko Mystery Crates®
Kyle Decker: So I was going to do what I always do and make a plea for this being The Blade. But a cSs offices convo early had me thinking of a booking scenario. Let’s say it is Danhausen but in order to be able to control all the merch/marketing even after he leaves, and because they are WWE, they change his name… to DH Mateo. Then they introduce him as JC Mateo’s brother and DH joins MFT. To show their acceptance, MFT switch their face paint from their current war paint to the Danhausen paint. Hilarity ensues. Hunter, this one is free but if you want more, you’re gonna have to pony up. Pick: DH Mateo
Claire Elizabeth: Egg egg egg egg it’s gonna be a big egg. Biiiig big big egg, big egg inside a big box. What’s inside the egg?! Find out at WrestleMania or even save it for Backlash maybe! It could be anything, even another box or a duck or a goose or a needle that has Rusev’s soul in it! EGG! EGG! EGG! EGG! EGG! EGG! EGG! Pick: EGG! EGG! EGG! EGG!
Cain A. Knight: All those rumors about WrestleMania 42 plans being up in the air will make total sense when the person inside the crate is finally revealed, and especially when that man vanishes one week later. Pick: The Rock
Marcus Benjamin: Gwyneth Paltrow’s head. That’s the best answer since 1995 and will forever remain the best answer. Pick: Gwyneth Paltrow’s head
M. G0MEZ: This reeks of Vince McMahon-level silliness. Pick: The love child of The Gobbledy Gooker and Mae Young’s son The Hand
Jon Velez-Jackson: My prediction may be an unlikely one, but if I say it, maybe it will come true. I think the crate will be opened to reveal Killer Kross. Well, maybe the actual human being won’t be inside, but a clue to lead up to his return, since he likely couldn’t have survived this long locked in a box. Plus, he probably needs to finish up some work for MLW, where he’s the current Heavyweight Champion. Not only was Kross becoming a big fan favorite prior to his 2025 departure from WWE, but his time away from the company could allow him to return to the spark that he had in NXT. Pick: Karrion Kross
Josh Jagler: Initially I thought it would be some sort of John Cena HOF statue, but with AJ Styles going in, that doesn’t seem likely. Now, I’m running with an idea from a Cagesider’s comment earlier this week. Pick: An assortment of Chris Jericho-related artifacts (a scarf, his light-up jacket, and The List)