Key events
Teatime reading
We receive a lot of emails to the OBO, so it’s rarely possible to read them all in real time. That was the case with this email from Abhishek Chopra about the last-wicket partnership of 20 between Scott Boland and Brendan Doggett – but it’s well worth posting after the event.
Any records waiting to be broken for the highest last-wicket stand between two people of Indigenous origin? The 1868 party must be looking at these two from up above with such pride.
Tea/Dinner: England trail by 132 runs
6th over: England 45-0 (Crawley 26, Duckett 13) Too straight from Neser to Crawley, who puts him away through midwicket for three. Duckett mistimes a push at Neser that teases mid-off before bouncing short and scuttling under the fielder for three more.
Thus ends a good mini-session for England, who have shaved off a quarter of the deficit in only six overs. Zak Crawley played some brilliant strokes en route to 26 from 23 balls; Ben Duckett was busy but less fluent and was dropped by Michael Neser.
“Agree – McCullum will resign if we lose this series heavily,” says Joshua Keeling (see 4th over). “But you know what, there’s always a chance. This Test isn’t over, and there are three more after this. Now, if Crawley could just for once leave the bloody ball on the rise outside off stump, it would really help my blood pressure.”
If England save this Test, a Brobdingnagian ‘if’ despite this fine start, they will be on par with the 2010-11 team: draw in Brisbane, defeat at Perth. They’re coming home!
5th over: England 39-0 (Crawley 23, Duckett 10) Crawley drives two majestic boundaries off Starc, the first through mid-off and the second through extra cover. This pitch is one flat mother.
Crawley, full of fizz after those two boundaries, tries for a third and is beaten. It was clever bowling from Starc, who pulled his length back in the assumption/knowledge that Crawley would want to go for the drive again.
A fine over for England though, 13 from it. Starc has figures of 3-0-25-0.
Duckett dropped by Neser!
4th over: England 26-0 (Crawley 12, Duckett 10) Duckett haddocks the ball straight back at Neser, who puts down a seriously tough chance above his left shoulder. Careful now, Benjamin.
The next ball curves down the leg side for four byes. Not sure why it wasn’t called wide, and we’ll surely reflect on that when this match ends in a tie on the final day. Duckett hits his first boundary to end the over.
“Bazball has been brilliant to watch over the last few years,” writes Joshua Keeling. “It has revitalised Test cricket in this country, and been incredibly entertaining. But the stated aim has always been to build towards winning an Ashes series. And if they lose this series heavily, Bazball will have failed on its own terms.
”All that said, come on England…”
If England are hammered here, do you think they will move the goalposts and begin Project 2027 Ashes? Normally that’s what would happen but I’m not sure Key, Stokes and McCullum will be able to lie to themselves and each other. Certainly not all three.
3rd over: England 18-0 (Crawley 12, Duckett 6) Thanks to Lee Henderson for directing us to the weather forecast for the last two days of this game: small chance of thunderstorms, 0.001 per cent chance of an apocalypse.
Starc beats Duckett with a beautiful outswinger, just full of a good length. Duckett clips confidently for three, then Crawley fizzes a clip to the square leg boundary. Give or take, the first three overs have gone perfectly for England.
“It’s clear after four and a half days of the series that Emperor Baz has no new clothing,” says Darryl Accone. “The Baz haute couture, ‘We trust in the process’, has been exposed for the sham and hauteur that it is. Baz sold Robert Key an empty wardrobe and the sooner England cricket divests itself of all three the better.
“Beyond process, Baz has selected a squad of batters who, with one exception, can’t or don’t bat; of bowlers who can’t keep line and length and are knackered after managing only 73 overs in a day; of a wickie who might flash the odd quick 20 or 30 but can’t catch. It’s genius, Baznosis, perhaps the most egregious act of mass hypnosis ever perpetrated on an unsuspecting (and suspecting!) public.
“Baznosis, Bazball: when it’s all over perhaps another urn, with the ashes of burnt Baz artefacts like that baseball cap, will be in order.”
Politely, meekly but firmly, I could not disagree more. This isn’t the time for that discussion, though. If the series plays out as most expect, there will be plenty of time for a Baztopsy. And for dreamers like me to defend a team that has just been plugged 4-0.
2nd over: England 9-0 (Crawley 6, Duckett 3) Crawley offers no stroke to Neser’s first ball, which swings seductively but from well wide of off stump. A straight delivery is clipped confidently for the first boundary by Crawley; this is now England’s highest opening partnership of the series.
There’s a terrifyingly long way to go but England will be pleased with how they’ve started, and how little the new pink ball has swung. Yet. (NB: Clip contains adult language, probably, there isn’t time to check the whole thing.)
“England are f**ked, Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Unless something very strange happens. Desperate times call for desperate measures…”
Free George Davis!
Breaking news: Mitchell Starc hasn’t taken a wicket in his first over
1st over: England 5-0 (Crawley 2, Duckett 3) Starc has three slips and a gully for Crawley, who pushes the second ball towards mid-off for a single. Duckett gets off a king pair with a slightly awkward defensive stroke – and then off a pair with a crisp flick through square leg for three. Not much swing for Starc, who goes wicketless in the first over for the first time in the series.
“I agree, the pitch does look good for batting,” says Andrew Goudie. “I’ll stick my neck out and say England will make Australia bat again.”
Tonight, presumably.
Complete the equation
Mitchell Starc + new pink ball x twilight = ???
We’re about to find out.
Cue operatic music England have been preparing for this Ashes series for three and a half years. Unless they ace the next three and a half hours, it will be over before the Radio Times Christmas edition has been published.
“Does anyone have any good recipes,” says Paul Griffin, “or tips for getting lard stains out of carpets?”
Afraid not, but have you heard this great new pop song?
“G’day Rob,” writes Chris Paraskevas. “Hope you’re well! Firstly, everyone take a deep breath, put the packet of Penguin Bars/ Tim Tams down, hit pause on that video of Chris Tavare hitting a six on YouTube (yes, it did happen!) and give yourselves a HUGE pat on the back…
“Congratulations: You made it to Test two, day three of the 2025 Liqourland Ashes Series!
“It might not seem much of an accomplishment to the untrained eye, particularly when you consider England only survived 1.75 days in the first Test and have only played four days of actual cricket on this Homeric tour. But we are all sporting massive hangovers/Scarface chainsaw-level headaches for different reasons.
“History won’t forget the sacrifices we’ve all made to be here right now on the OBO: sleep, mental health, relationships, our dignity, the ability to form cohesive sentences, a fully functioning liver.
“Anyway, as I said yesterday I’m not having another drink until Xmas Day and even then I’ll need to ‘leave some in the tank’ for NYE.
“PS. Pretty much touched 40 degrees Celcius in Sydney today. Couldn’t force myself to the pub on the corner for Hair Of The Dog treatment. I just don’t have what it takes to play cricket for Australia…”
Speak for yourself, Chris. I’m whistling Happy Go Lucky Me, and my Body Battery has just hit 110 per cent.
“Is this one of the highest scores made without a century being scored?” asks Jeremy Stokes.
I can think of at least two higher scores in Tests – South Africa v Australia in 1997-98, when they picked the strongest tail in history, and India v New Zealand in 1976-77. But this must be in the top five.
Edit: it is in the top five. At number five in fact.
WICKET! Australia 511 all out (Doggett c Brook b Jacks 13)
The Australian innings comes to an end when Doggett edges Jacks to slip. Australia only batted for 117.3 overs, which isn’t that much in the grand scheme, but it felt like they were batting forever. More importantly, they lead by 177 and will be bowling with a new ball just as day turns to night.
117th over: Australia 511-9 (Boland 21, Doggett 13) Carse tries his luck around the wicket, and gets none Boland misses a windy woof outside off stump. The pitch is so flat, which should give England hope. The worry is that Mitchell Starc will make the pink ball talk so incessantly that the pitch will become irrelevant.
“OK,” says Max Williams, “simple plan: pretend it’s a fourth-innings chase, race to 380 for 6 and skittle them under lights tomorrow evening. Golf on Monday.”
Don’t take this the wrong way, Max, BUT I AM NOT EFFING READY FOR EFFING GALLOWS EFFING HUMOUR IT’S DAY FIVE OF THE SERIES FFS.
116th over: Australia 508-9 (Boland 20, Doggett 12) Doggett, pushing forward defensively, edges Brook this far short of Brook at slip. And why not?
Doggett has reached double figures now, completing the set for this innings: his 12 not out is the lowest score by an Australian batter. I’d need to check to be sure, but I think the last time all 11 players reached double figures in an Ashes Test was England’s first innings at Sydney in December 1928.
Australia have never done it before in an Ashes Test. And the last time they did it against any opposition in a Test was the famous heist at Colombo in 1992.
115th over: Australia 504-9 (Boland 19, Doggett 9) Australia lead by 170.
114th over: Australia 502-9 (Boland 17, Doggett 9) Cheers Jim, hello everyone. Ben Doggett cuts Jacks for four to bring up the 500, a score that looked unlikely when Australia were 0 for 0 and most people thought England’s 334 was a competitive total. take this game into a fourth day!!! save this game.
James Wallace
113th over: Australia 496-9 (Boland 16, Doggett 4) Brydon Carse thunders in once more but its all pretty futile. The Gabbatroopers do the YMCA and drinks are taken on the field.
Rob Smyth is here to shepherd you to the end of this innings and then call some tasty stuff under lights. Thanks for your company, I’ll be back tomorrow morning, if England are.
Brydon Carse in the market for one of the all-time great five-fers here
— Will Macpherson (@willis_macp) December 6, 2025
112th over: Australia 495-9 (Boland 16, Doggett 3) Jacks beats Doggett with one that grips in the surface a little. Two further singles added. Australia’s lead is up to 161.
“That last wicket was such a bizarre dismissal” emails Martin Burley. “England managed to hold on to a catch?!”
111th over: Australia 491-9 (Boland 15, Doggett 2) Brendon Doggett is Australia’s last man, the pitch is now completely in shadow. Perfect conditions for a fast bowler to have a dart at England before the dinner break. Doggett clips off his hip for two runs and the lead swells to 159.
WICKET! Mitchell Starc c Stokes b Carse 77 (Australia 491-9)
Brydon’s dan sammink! Mitchell Starc is OUT! A lofted swat is well caught by Stokes at mid off despite Ben Duckett almost colliding with him. Leave it Ducky!
What an innings from Starc, he departs to a rapturous reception from the Gabba faithful, this is firmly his Ashes series at the moment.
110th over: Australia 491-8 (Starc 77, Boland 15) Starc takes a single off Jacks, Brydon Carse is going to replace Gus Atkinson.
109th over: Australia 490-8 (Starc 76, Boland 15) Starc crunches Atkinson for two fours to go to 75 and Australia’s lead past 150. A quick single off the final ball of the over sees Scarp scampering for his ground, Brydon Carse has a shy at the stumps but is is a wild throw (quelle suprise?) and it hits Starc in the lower back. After a short delay he is fine to continue but it looks like it is a sore elbow that is giving him a bit jip. Batter’s elbow Starcy?
108th over: Australia 480-8 (Starc 67, Boland 15) Just a single off Jacks as Australia march on. The shadows are almost onto the wicket now. Starc is hurting England with the bat but just wait til he gets the ball in his hand under lights.
107th over: Australia 479-8 (Starc 66, Boland 15) Starc clips a single off Atkinson to take Australia’s lead to 145.
“Forget about Bazball, I say to my son as we bond over an early morning Ashes viewing. Watching your team get ground slowly into the Australian dirt is what Christmas is all about. A cherished tradition passed down from one generation to the next. Comforting, really.”
World Class parenting, Jonathan Vincent!
106th over: Australia 478-8 (Starc 65, Boland 15) Jacks bowls a maiden. Sweet, sweet relief.
105th over: Australia 478-8 (Starc 65, Boland 15) Starc plays a blistering cover drive for four and then caresses Atkinson in front of square for a consecutive boundary. He has a Test 99 but never a century… could today be the day to get the monkey off his back?!
104th over: Australia 470-8 (Starc 57, Boland 15) Jacks tosses up a floaty half volley and Scott Boland crunches it for four. This partnership is now the second longest of the match after the one between Root and Crawley in England’s first innings.
Underneath my seat a man dressed as Queen Elizabeth II has his plastic mace confiscated. It feels quite symbolic.
103rd over: Australia 465-8 (Starc 56, Boland 11) Boland hacks an inside edge past his stumps and away for four! The shadows lengthen and the Gabbatroopers cheer.
102nd over: Australia 461-8 (Starc 56, Boland 7) Jacks whirls through a maiden.
“Waking up in the lovely medieval city of Perugia bathed in sunshine. What could possibly deflate the spirits?”
I fear for you here Colum Fordham.
“Oh, I could always check the OBO to see if England have kept the Aussie lead to a bare minimum. Ah, but Starc is having a field day with the bat ably assisted by that batting phenomenon Boland. I suppose I’ll have to look on the bright side. Pat Cummins should be fit for the third test and Australia might just have the upper hand. PS. Happy birthday to my wife Roberta. Could you give her a shout out? Not a big cricket fan tbh. Lucky her.”
Happy Birthday Roberta! May Mitchell Starc get a century and five-fer in your honour!
101st over: Australia 461-8 (Starc 56, Boland 7) A waggish friend texts to say “The longer Starc bats, the more tired he will be this evening…” Yes that is exactly the right straw to clutch. Atkinson oversteps with his front foot and serves up a half volley that Starc marmalises down the ground for four. “We’re entering sh***show” territory” the experienced cricket correspondent and Ashes tour veteran whispers next to me.
100th over: Australia 455-8 (Starc 51, Boland 7) Will Jacks starts after the interval to Starc and a spread field. A long stride from Starc smothers any spin before he opens the shoulders and slaps through the gap at midwicket to go to fifty! What a series he is having by the way, after 4 and a bit days.
“Morning Jim, here in dreary West Yorkshire I’m following this nonsense whilst finishing off some work. It is better than no cricket on… I think” writes Andrew Bennett.
“Question – do you think McCullum and Stokes reflect on the entirely sensible but also ruthless approach to batting from Boland and Starc and perhaps think they’ve gone about things the wrong way? Or do they genuinely ignore the “outside noise”?”
There will be some learnings to be taken Andrew, but after the match. They’ll also likely go down like a cup of cold sick.
England’s fielders gather on the Gabba boundary, Will Jacks bowls into a mitt and Gus Atkinson joins him. The shadows are starting to elongate across to the right of us here at the Vulture St end. The metaphorical vultures will be circling for England later this afternoon unless they can do something remarkable with the bat. More likely Mitchell Starc is going to pick over their carcass and have a ruddy good time doing so.
Mitchell Starc is currently averaging 58 with the bat and 11.75 with the ball in this Ashes series.
Joe Root is the only England batter to have faced more balls in this match than Mitchell Starc’s 95. Near-perfect first session for Australia with the prospect of a new pink ball in twilight later this afternoon
— Matt Roller (@mroller98) December 6, 2025
Tea/First Break – Australia 450-8 (Lead by 116 runs)
99th over: Australia 450-8 (Starc 50, Boland 7) Starc bunts Carse over the covers for three and that takes Australia to 450 and the lead at the lunch/tea/first break is 116 runs.
A bruising session for England, they will still have to come out after the interval to try and get the two final Australia wickets. It’s all going very much to plan for the home side, the lights will start to take effect about an hour into the second session.
Disappointing to know that England will never get another wicket ever again.
— Max Rushden 💛🖤 (@maxrushden) December 6, 2025
98th over: Australia 447-8 (Starc 47, Boland 7) Will Jacks rattles through an over of completely harmless off spin. Starc pats one to Ollie Pope at short leg who has a pointless shy at the stumps and gifts the big man a single and the chance to get down the other end for the next over. Whoops.
It’ll be nice for Starc to chalk up a half century with the bat, he needs to take a bit of a confidence boost into his bowling…
97th over: Australia 446-8 (Starc 42, Boland 7) “It’s pretty tough on Boland and Starc the way England are forcing them to hit boundaries in the baking sun.” The OBO as ever keeping us all sane. Brydon Carse bowls a maiden and Will Jacks is summoned!
96th over: Australia 446-8 (Starc 42, Boland 7) Boland guides a four down to the vacant third man and it’s another boundary to Australia in that region. There have been so many there that the wagon wheel is enough to make a grown man weep. Not me, obvs.
Boland flicks a single uppishly but short of a diving Duckett. Bosh! Starc drives Stokes through the covers for four. We are getting into wheels off territory here.
England have come undone.
95th over: Australia 437-8 (Starc 38, Boland 2) Carse continues with the short stuff with a short leg in place but no slips. It looks absolutely knackering. Starc gets width and flat bats a four up to the Gabbatroopers and they lose their collective. A drive down ground sees Australia’s lead stretch past 100 runs! This is punishing for England.
94th over: Australia 429-8 (Starc 30, Boland 2) Ben Stokes, glimmering with sweat and puce in the gills beats both Starc and Boland but there’s still no breakthrough for England. They’ve been out there for an hour and thirty-five minutes this morning.