Not every cycling interview flows where you expect it to, but sometimes you can help force the current.
When speaking to Guillaume Martin-Guyonnet a few weeks ago, I went in with two objectives. Part one: earnest and enlightening conversation – in the bag. Part two: a dicier prospect – I wanted him to rank his donkeys.
Luckily, Guillaume Martin-Guyonnet is a very nice man who loves his donkeys even more than I love the idea of Guillaume Martin-Guyonnet’s donkeys, which is quite a lot. What’s not to love, after all? He’s a genuinely interesting person who also helps run a farm-stay with a friendly gaggle of donkeys to delight the guests. Donkeys are great. Guillaume Martin-Guyonnet is great. This is a synergy.
So naturally, I wanted to know everything about these furry friends – their names, their temperaments, what they bring to the group, where they sat in the democratically-elected animal government of his family property, Domaine de la Boderie (yes, I’m serious), and what Guillaume’s favourites were.
I loved having this conversation, and I hope you like it too.
The start of the interview began a bit like this.
Iain Treloar: I’d love to talk about a few things today: your sport, your philosophy, your books. And then, we have a separate segment about your donkeys.
Guillaume Martin-Guyonnet: [obviously delighted by the last bit] Okay – a pleasure! I don’t talk so often about them!
IT: Would you like to start with the donkeys, or …?
GMG: We’ll save them for the end.
IT: A little dessert. Good.
Here followed an earnest and interesting interview about other things than donkeys:
Q&A: The many lives of Guillaume Martin-Guyonnet
One of cycling’s most interesting riders talks about his sport, philosophy, his new novel, and rediscovering his inner child.
And then it was go time.
IT: OK. Donkey questions.
GMG: [very attentive, leaning forward] OK.
IT: On January 4, 2024 there was an election of your donkeys, with Bibi elected to the presidency for his “experience and sobriety”, succeeding another donkey, Ninon. Is Bibi still the president?
GMG: Actually, yes. Elections normally occur once a year, but the voting population was not complete … normally it’s every year at Christmas. It’s a family thing. We have the elections – really official ones – where we vote for every minister and the president. But my brother couldn’t be there this Christmas because he is working on a ski station in the French Alps, so he wasn’t there and the elections were delayed. So Bibi is still the president.
IT: Still president!
GMG: It’s not a dictatorship. It’s still a democracy. [laughs]
IT: I see – so it’s just pushed back the elections a little bit. Now the spokesperson, the donkey Félicie – has she performed well in her duties?
GMG: [thoughtful pause] Yeah, but she’s one of the oldest. She gets easily upset, so I don’t think she’s the best right now in that role, because she doesn’t unify the group. She brings discord into the group.
IT: I see. That’s problematic. What about the minister of youth, sports and culture – Martin?
GMG: Yeah, that’s a good one. He was the last one born in La Boderie. A small one, dynamic … he’s good. No problems.
IT: Now, here I have some pictures of donkeys that I’d like to show you. I don’t know my donkeys very well, but I imagine if you’re the parent of a donkey …
GMG: … You have donkeys?
IT: I don’t have donkeys, no. But I like donkeys.
GMG: OK.
IT: So here are some pictures of your donkeys, and I want to know if you can recognise which donkey it is, and tell me some attributes about them.
GMG: OK.
GMG: Ooh, it’s not that easy. I would say that’s Aglaé?
IT: Maybe!
GMG: [laughs] Well, you cannot say …
IT: True, this is all on you, I can’t fact check this … [laughs]
GMG: I think it’s Aglaé. She’s a good friend of Félicie. She’s also one of the oldest. What’s really funny is – we have, like, a group of 12 and Bibi, which is a male, so he’s separate – and it’s really a group where you have friendships and some little groups that go apart.
IT: Really? Like, little clusters of pals?
GMG: It’s really like a society! It’s really funny to see, and they have their own taste also – some like apples, some like carrots, some like hay – and it’s really funny to see. And she was a really good friend of Señorita, but [Señorita] passed away like two years ago, and now she is friends with Félicie.
GMG: Okay, this is Ulysse … I’m not sure what it is in English, like the Greek name?
IT: Ulysses? Is this a male or female donkey?
GMG: Male.
IT: OK, so is he kept separate from the rest of them?
GMG: No, because he is castrated, you know.
IT: Ah, OK, all right. What does Ulysses do? Is he a funny one? A grumpy one?
GMG: He likes carrots. Really, he’s a carrots addict.
IT: Now, I see we’ve got a horse in the background here …
GMG: This is a separate field with the horse, Eden [ed. interior minister of the government; ‘bossy character’]. OK, so this is BB and another donkey … and this is a French joke. You know Brigitte Bardot? So this one, she’s a bardot, because bardot in French means, you know, when you have the parents that there are one horse and one donkey?
IT: I thought she looked more horsey!
GMG: Right. She’s a mix.
IT: Is that a mule?
GMG: Alors. A mule, I think that’s when it’s, you know, a male horse and woman donkey, or female donkey, and the reverse is bardot. Or the other way, you know. Anyway, for the joke, we called her Brigitte Bardot – well, not Brigitte Bardot, but Brigitte – because she’s a bardot and the initials of Brigitte Bardot were B-B [ed. pronounced ‘bay-bay’]. So, we have Bibi and BB. It’s not easy to explain in English. [laughs]
IT: I think you’ve done a very good job. She’s quite a striking looking donkey. I think she looks very handsome.
GMG: Yeah, but she has quite a bad character, and she’s really wild – it’s not easy to approach her …
IT: So she looks calm here, but she’s a total nightmare?
GMG: Yeah. And she’s the boss. She was the last one to arrive there, like, only last year or two years ago. And just a couple of weeks later, she was – she’s way smaller than Eden, but still she’s the boss. That’s BB.
IT: OK. Who’s next? There might be some duplicates …
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