Nikki Bella already opened up about how painful her divorce was—but now she’s taking it even further, revealing exactly what she learned from going through it.
After previously getting emotional about losing herself during her marriage to Artem Chigvintsev, Nikki appeared on IRL with Angie Martinez on April 8, 2026, where she shifted the focus from what happened to what it taught her. And this time, she didn’t hold back.
Nikki started by admitting that one of her biggest takeaways came down to how she approached love in the first place—saying she now sees things very differently than before. From there, she explained that the biggest lesson wasn’t about one specific moment—but about slowing down and paying attention to warning signs early on.
“I shouldn’t have picked for passion and sexiness. What have I learned about myself? I think the one thing I’ve learned is—take your time. Slow down and really dissect the red flags. Like, trust your gut. I think I’ve learned that more than anything—your instinct is always right.”
She then got more direct about a mistake she believes a lot of people make in relationships—trying to change someone instead of accepting who they are.
“You can’t fix anyone. I think we go into things and we do that, right? We want to fix them—him or her, whatever it is—but we want to fix them. And it’s like, we can’t fix them. They have to want to fix themselves.”
Nikki made it clear that this realization didn’t come instantly—but after going through the experience, she now sees early relationship dynamics in a completely different way. She also stated the importance of accepting people as they are from the start—rather than building expectations that may never be met.
“And if you’re already like that from the beginning, it’s just not going to work. Those are the things I think I’ve learned the most. It took me a few times, but now I’ve realized—whatever it is in the beginning, that is what it is, and that’s what it’s going to be. So if you like it, go with it—and have no expectations.”
That led into one of her strongest points, where she explained how expectations—whether in relationships or life in general—can end up doing more harm than good.
“Expectations… I mean, that’s just setting yourself up for failure. And that’s whether it’s in your dreams and goals or in a relationship. I just feel expectations really set yourself up for failure.”
This adds to Nikki Bella’s story. While she previously spoke about how deeply the marriage and divorce affected her, this time she’s focusing on growth—breaking down the lessons she’s taking with her moving forward. It’s no longer just about what went wrong—it’s about how she’s changed because of it.
Do you think Nikki Bella’s perspective on relationships and expectations is something people should take seriously—or do you see it differently? Drop your thoughts and feedback below.
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