Uh-oh, trouble with the four-wheeled gravel recumbent!
Fortunately I’m more than capable of fixing the issue myself…just as long as the issue is a loose gas cap.
Otherwise, if that doesn’t work, I figure I’ll just pour some Dumonde on it. Scoff if you will, but this would not be the first time I’ve repaired THE CAR THAT I OWN with Dumonde. Awhile back the hood latch wasn’t catching so I put some liquid grease on it:
Problem solved. Maybe I should run a bottle through the gas tank.
Speaking of Dumonde, so far the Bike Snob NYC Spirit Of Gravel Lube-tastic Whatever-I-Called-It Contest is running as smoothly as…hmmm, I can’t think of anything that runs really smoothly, no matter how hard I try.
Oh, well.
And special thanks to the commenter who re-did the log in an R. Crumb style, by the way!
I wondered briefly if it was AI but we all know it can’t do bicycle drivetrains.
As for the submissions, so far they are quite compelling indeed. In fact we may have this whole Spirit of Gravel thing completely figured out already, which is going to save me a lot of work:
To me, the Spirit of Gravel is everything, everywhere, all at once. As we all hurtle through space on this giant rock, what is gravel other than crumbs that have chipped off of our giant rock? The tiniest of crumbs are microscopic dust, which we even inhale into our very lungs! But anyway, I could really use that lube to quiet down my squeaky chain so I don’t have to drown it out with these ridiculous diatribes, thanks.
See that? We’re all made of gravel! How’s that for profound?
Also, here’s some verse that’s better than anything you’ll find in The New Yorker, and yet here it is on a lousy bike blog:
Talk about casting pearls before swine! Unfortunately, I may have to declare it ineligible, since the bard did not use the correct email subject line.
Hey, sorry, I don’t make the rules.*
*[Actually, I do make the rules. And don’ t you forget it.]
And finally, here’s a contestant who has boldly chosen the highly irreverent “Insult the judge’s bicycle” approach:
=====================================================================Get a Rivendell already!
Not just any Rivendell like your wimpy tube A. HOMER HILSEN, “the most versatile, useful road bike we make or can even imagine”, but rather a Rivendell like mine, a SAM HILLBORNE, “FOR ALL ROADS— paved, dirt, or gravel; and the kinds of fire trails a Conestoga wagon could negotiate…”
It would be even better, if like mine the frame was made by Waterford and it had double top tubes.
====================================================================
Hey, I can handle insults, but excerpting the A. Homer Hilsen website copy and not mentioning this quote is something I don’t know if I can forgive:
Anyway, the contest remains open, so you’ve still got time to submit.
Or, you know, just buy yourself a bottle of chain lube and spare yourself the trouble. I don’t know how much they sell it for but it couldn’t be that much, could it?
Speaking of the Spirit of Gravel, I am now living in an arctic wasteland. This means any gravel is currently beneath at least a foot of snow. Therefore, I am unable to become one with it by putting my tires directly upon it, and instead make do with a frigid Gravel of the Mind:
Checking the forecast, there’s no sign of the deep freeze ending anytime soon, either, and if you listen closely you can even hear the crackling of the ice floes upon the mighty Hudson:
And yet still I ride, because it’s either that or face real life:
And so I layer up and take to the roads:
Despite the cold, any spot that sees enough sun is a slushy mess–especially where people have flung snow into the roadway while digging out their cars–which means full fenders are a necessity:
This makes bike choice simple, because I have one (1) Official Designated Full Fender Bike, and it is the cruelly maligned yet wonderfully versatile A. Homer Hilsen, seen here in all its mac-and-cheese glory:
We may not have gravel, but we do have road salt:
At this point I’ll take what I can get.