Team Conflict in Hockey

How to keep teammates working together and playing their best

Anyone who has spent time in a hockey locker room knows that even the tightest groups run into team conflict now and then. Hockey is fast, physical, and emotional. Mix that intensity with different personalities, skill levels, and expectations, and you’ve got a recipe for misunderstandings. (This applies especially to adult recreational or beer league hockey, where players come from all walks of life.)

But the good news is that team conflict isn’t always bad. When handled properly, it can improve communication, strengthen relationships, and even make the team play better. The key is knowing how to recognize issues early and resolve them before they ruin the season.

Here’s why team conflict happens, how to address it, and how to turn those tense moments into opportunities for growth.

Why Team Conflict in Hockey Happens

No matter the level, hockey is a game where mistakes can sometimes be obvious and emotions run hot. A missed assignment, a lazy backcheck, a blown breakout. All of these can create an atmosphere that is easy for frustrations to flare up.

Common causes of team conflict in hockey include:

• Confusion about positions or strategies
• Players feeling others aren’t putting in equal effort
• Complaints about line combinations or ice time
• Miscommunication during rushes, defensive plays, or special teams
• Friction from expectations not being met
• Personality clashes or off-ice stress creeping into the game

What’s important is recognizing that these conflicts are normal. They’re not a sign that your team is falling apart. Rather, they’re simply an indication that people care about the game and about winning.

Step 1: Understand the Root of the Conflict

Most team conflict starts with a single moment but can stem from something deeper. A defenseman calling out a winger for missing their assignment may really be reacting to a pattern of miscommunication. A frustrated goalie might not be angry at the team, but at themselves after a tough stretch of games. Before anyone reacts, it helps to ask:

• “Is this a one-time mistake or an ongoing issue?”
• “Do we actually understand each other’s expectations?”
• “Am I reacting to the moment, or am I irritated from earlier events?”

Recognizing the real problem prevents a minor disagreement from becoming a major divide.

Step 2: Avoid Confrontations on the Bench

Trying to solve a dispute mid-shift is like trying to fix a skate while you’re still skating. The bench is loud, emotions are high, and there’s no time to think. [Editor’s note: I can recall one instance when, during a tournament, two brothers on our bench had a disagreement that became so intense it resulted in fisticuffs. Needless to say, the opposing team was so spooked by that we ended up winning the game. We advise against this behavior.]

The best approach?

1. Play your shift.
2. Finish the period.
3. Then talk—in the locker room or, even better, off to the side when everyone has cooled down.

A calm, clear discussion like, “Let’s talk about that last play. I think we saw it differently,” usually gets everyone back on track quickly.

Step 3: Communicate Clearly and Respectfully

Yelling, blaming, or embarrassing a teammate almost always makes things worse. Effective communication is the heart of resolving team conflict. Keep conversations productive by:

• Using “I” statements:
  “I thought we were switching on that coverage,” instead of “You blew the play.”
• Sticking to the situation rather than attacking someone’s character:
  “We left the point open,” rather than “You’re never where you’re supposed to be.”
• Asking questions instead of making accusations:
  “What did you see on that breakout?” opens up constructive conversation.
• Keeping your tone level:
  A calm voice goes further than intensity ever will. Good communication builds trust, and trust leads to better chemistry and performance.

Step 4: Set Clear Team Expectations Early

Many hockey teammates never actually talk about expectations. That silence is one of the biggest drivers of team conflict. A quick early-season chat can prevent weeks of frustration. Teams should be on the same page on:

• How competitive the team wants to be
• Expected effort levels
• Shift length
• Game strategies (forechecking style, defensive coverage, breakout plans)
• Attendance and punctuality
• Locker room etiquette

When everyone is on the same page, fewer conflicts arise. And when they do, they’re easier to solve.

Step 5: Let the Team Leaders Lead

Captains, coaches, and team leaders play a huge role in managing team conflict. A strong captain isn’t just a good player—they’re someone who reads the room and knows when to step in. They can help by:

• Mediating conflicts
• Reinforcing expectations
• Speaking honestly with players who need guidance
• Ensuring conversations stay respectful and productive

A trusted leader can often say things that other teammates can’t, without causing additional tension.

Step 6: Use the “Three-Shift Rule”

Here’s a simple rule that helps prevent long-term resentment: If something is still bothering you three shifts later, say something.

Not on the bench. Not by yelling across the ice. But in a calm, private conversation. This prevents players from bottling up frustration until it explodes later on.

Step 7: Assume Good Intentions

Not every mistake is laziness, and not every misplay is selfishness. Before jumping to conclusions, consider these possiblilities:

• Is the teammate new to the position?
• Are they tired or rusty?
• Are they dealing with something off the ice?
• Do they even realize what they did wrong?

Giving teammates the benefit of the doubt keeps the team environment positive and supportive.

Step 8: Keep the Team’s Mission in Mind

At the end of the day, hockey is supposed to be fun. Even competitive teams thrive best when the locker room is friendly, respectful, and focused on the bigger picture. Teams that master team conflict resolution enjoy:

• Better chemistry
• Improved performance
• Higher morale
• Less drama
• More consistency
• A stronger sense of camaraderie

When players enjoy being together, they naturally play harder for each other.

Final Thoughts

Team conflict is a normal part of hockey, but it doesn’t have to derail your season. By communicating clearly, addressing issues early, and remembering that everyone shares the same goal, your team can turn conflicts into opportunities for growth.

Hockey is at its best when everyone is working together. Mastering conflict resolution ensures that every player feels valued, supported, and motivated, both on and off the ice.