For the first time since I began going to the movie theaters to catch a WWE premium live event, I kind of wish I had watched from home.
Until Clash In Italy on Sunday, my experiences had been overwhelmingly positive, with me advocating to readers the benefits of going to the local cinema rather than sinking into the couch at home.
Well, this was not a good outing. The show, which I’ll touch on later, was fine. Instead, it was my environment that made me want to say, “Fuhgeddaboudit.”
For the third straight show, it was off to the AMC 18 in San Diego’s Fashion Valley Mall, the only theater in town hosting Clash. Unfortunately, my life tag team partner, Mrs. Gomez, couldn’t join me, which sorely contributed to a dismal outing.
I stepped into Auditorium 5 a few minutes before showtime. Though it was mostly full, I didn’t spot any of the usual suspects from previous trips. Noticeably, the atmosphere was different — it was more subdued and not nearly as inviting as past trips.
The first hour of the show was met with little to no reaction. For a moment, I felt like I was watching one of those stuffy independent films where the phrase “Silence is golden” is law. Almost everyone around me was dead silent.
Behind me was a group of guys who were “distracting,” to say the least. Between constantly rocking my chair when they got up, ceaseless chatter, a sudden urge to use the flashlight on their phone, and BELCHING, I was fit to be tied.
And that’s without mentioning the geography wiz of the group, who insisted to his friends that the green, white, and red on the back of Cody Rhodes’ jacket represented Mexico.
Fed up, I kept my eye on a one-seater on the floor just a few rows back from the screen, making sure it wasn’t occupied. Determined not to have my OTC experience ruined, I moved down just before the main event.
Sitting directly under the speaker, the sound hit much harder. As the fans chanted for Roman Reigns and Jacob Fatu, I felt like I was seated in the middle of the arena with everyone chanting at me. When Reigns chucked the steel steps at Fatu’s skull, the sound rattled my dome.
Now that’s the wrestling-movie experience I’d been looking for.
Despite my surroundings, I enjoyed Clash In Italy for the most part, which I didn’t think I would based on how it started.
Cody Rhodes defeated Gunther to retain the Undisputed WWE Championship. Gunther’s foot was under the ropes as the referee counted the pin. Considering the talent involved, this felt like a really good, commercial-free first hour of SmackDown match that leads to a PLE showdown. Thumbs down.
WWE Women’s Champion Rhea Ripley bested Jade Cargill in a match that got better as it went on. Just as fans in Turin began chanting “This is awesome,” I thought, Y’all really don’t get much wrestling, do you? But as I said that, Jade stepped it up, finishing strong to deliver the best match of her career.
Auditorium 5 actually came to life as Brock Lesnar defeated Oba Femi following seven F-5s. Lesnar started fast, injuring Oba’s left arm and shoulder early. That forced “The Ruler” to play catch-up. Though he fought hard, he couldn’t close the gap.
While the execution was brilliant, I’m not thrilled that Oba lost. After the show, I learned that he was entering the King of the Ring tournament. While he should be the favorite, I sense he won’t win. Instead, he’ll likely move on to a trilogy with Lesnar, who kept pointing out that they were 1-1.
Oh, and props to the one guy who got up and did the Oba strut. That’s a fan living his best life.
Sol Ruca is the new Women’s Intercontinental Champion after beating Becky Lynch. This was another match theatergoers popped for at the finish. In my book, it’s too much, too soon. Ruca’s strikes look weak, and this hard push out the gate ain’t hittin’ with me. I’m in the minority, though, so all I can do is hope she learns to throw a punch or loses the I.C. strap.
Hey, whichever comes first.
Speaking of pops, there was a WWE ad for Scary Movie that featured Danhausen. Even in a cameo for a preview on a dated movie franchise, that guy is over.
Finally, it was time for the main event.
Grab them plain donuts, kids, because here comes the glaze.
Besides the epic sound quality and even larger-than-life images I upgraded my seat for, Tribal Combat was a home run. Roman Reigns promised to deliver hours before the event, and he came through — as did Jacob Fatu. I liked how the finish, which saw Fatu get smashed into several exposed-steel buckles and speared through a table, made him look as strong as possible in defeat.
And then Michael Cole had to ruin it by saying “The Samoan Werewolf” had been neutered.
Jesus H. Christ. Cole did more to cut Fatu’s manhood off than Reigns ever could. An embarrassingly bad call.
As for what’s next, I’m excited. I’m all for another Bloodline family feud, so long as it brings Roman and Solo Sikoa’s tribes together. And I appreciated Reigns, the former defensive tackle from Georgia Tech, taking a shot at QB1, who fumbled the ball in the first quarter of Clash.
Leave it to the defense to bail out the offense.
Clash In Italy was mostly fun despite a flat start. But as the saying goes, “It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish,” and Clash finished strong.
Unlike previous trips that felt like being in the arena, the quiet start only made the obnoxious behavior behind me more noticeable. If you go by yourself to the theater to watch a WWE PLE, grab a one-seater away from the crowd. Still listen to the audience to get a perspective of who’s over, like Danhausen. If you’re sensitive to loud noise, bring some earplugs.
Whatever you choose, though, just make sure you acknowledge the Tribal Chief, still World Heavyweight Champion.